You’ve been told that your best friend is terminally ill. Crappy news! Now what? What about that family? Their kids? Your kids?
- Tell your children that X is sick (they probably already know this too). There are three different ways of being sick:
– sick to get better (you have children, you know this form)
– sick and not getting better (e.g. Celiac Disease, Irritable Bowel Syndrome). you have this illness until you die.
– Being sick and dying from it. The disease that X has is fatal. The doctors can help to have less pain, but the outcome is that X dies from it. - Explain that this deadly disease is not contagious (if it is), so that there is no fear of touching/visiting X. (in fact, most childhood diseases are contagious)
- Does your child have to come to X? Not every time you want to visit X. Once is fine, but they don’t have to come every time either.
- What can you do for X’s family? No idea. Ask X’s family – X, partner Y, children A, B and C. Suggest cooking once a week, doing laundry, helping to get child B to soccer…. Any help is welcome and sometimes just knowing there is help is enough. Does family X not want help? Then offer it again in 2 days/weeks. Insights change
- Ask a question about the impending end. Not the easiest tip, but a very sensible one.
– Should a reminder still be made, and if so which one and how?
– Any word on insurance?
– Let them go meet with a funeral director to find/find the click. - Read through this magazine. And share the link with X.